Childish

Have you ever been in the grocery store and seen a child who has been told, "No."? The 'bad' kid throws a fit. Screaming. Crying. Begging. Kicking. Laying in the middle of the aisle. Throwing things. It's awkward for those witnessing, and mortifying for the parents.

That was me this past weekend.

I had high hopes and expectations for our 4-day Memorial Day weekend. We were going to have FUN! We were going to get stuff DONE! We were going out for a DATE! It was going to be awesome!!! And enjoyable!! And relaxing!!

Friday was all those things. It was not stressful, we got out of the house, enjoyed time as a family, ate ice cream (twice!).

Then came Saturday, and my little guy decided that life was too exciting to sleep. At all. Andwhen he fought naps and bed time (which I took personally as if he were fighting against ME), I responded like that rotten grocery store kid.

I got angry. I got frustrated. I raised my voice (not at my son, but towards my husband as I vented  complained). I cried. I pouted. I let a majority of the weekend be ruined because I didn't get MY WAY.

Ugh. I am mortified with myself. Ashamed. Embarrassed. Guilty that I also ruined the weekend for my husband and son.

More refining needs doing. Softening of my will. I should have taken a deep breath, said, "I guess he's too excited to sleep! Let's keep playing!" I should have prayed for the grace to figure out an alternative plan for us to still enjoy our time.

I failed this test. But I know God is faithful to keep teaching me until my childish heart gets it right. Gotta just get back up and keep trying to live this life for Him the best I can.